The Buffalo sports fan

The Buffalo sports fan:

Is totally die hard

Would prefer to trade their lazy, overpaid superstar now while his value is still high.

Knows exactly what trade or free agent move will lead to a championship.

Thinks your perennial All-Star and playoff stud SUCKS

Expects every shot to be stopped

Thinks a new left tackle and an elite pass rusher are the solution to the Bills’ woes

His seats really let you see the play develop – from the last row of the stadium

His old seats let you see the speed of the game – despite being obstructed by the benches

Wants to trade two underperformer’s for that superstar in the other conference

Wants a proven coach and GM, but can’t think of a proven name to fill either position

Thinks the GM should have cut that waste of money two years ago

LOVE Are insulted by the thought of sexy, scantily clad girls scraping the ice

Knew that the same lameduck player who walked as a free agent would blow up in another city

Doesn’t make a peep for an entire game, but claps in unison when the speakers say “everybody clap your hands”

Boos every former player, no matter what the circumstances were surrounding their departure

Sits on their hands all game but will cheer after a goal

Leaves with six minutes to go in a one-goal game

Still refers to the Winter Classic as the Ice Bowl

Hates when the Sabres play the trap, despite not being capable of identifying it

Wonders why the Sabres don’t score goals like you see in video games

Wants to know why the Bills are the only team never to score on bombs

Complains about every possible facet of every pro sports team in the city

Will sit in their season’s or by their TV every day until one of their teams wins a championship.